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LJ Idol Season 8: Week 4
erica_crawford
What does narcissism have to do with me?

It's all about me. No, really, it is all about me.

I may not be the worst patient in the world, but I'm certainly up there as a strong contender. Even an innocuous cold is quite enough to have me going around moaning, sighing, and sniffling as if the world were about to end.

So, when it comes to there being something actually wrong — something that no amount of Googling the symptoms can provide a rational yet reassuring answer for — you can bet that the whole world seems to close in to the narrow pinpoint focus of me, my pain, and what might possibly be wrong with me. After all, no-one else can actually feel my pain, can they? So obviously they need to be told in excruciatingly precise and gory detail all of my symptoms, and how much they're making me suffer.

The most anodyne of conversations can be hijacked onto the subject. Told that someone in a nursing home is having difficulty walking, I mutter darkly, "Well, that's only to be expected, isn't it, at the age of 87? Not like me, who's only 37 and yet am also having difficulty walking." Discussions of paintings and ornaments can be diverted onto who might wish to receive what in my will.

And so on, and so forth.

That's me in the corner, that's me in the spotight, losing my narcissism.

ETA: Well, the doctors can't work out what's wrong with me either, but they're definitely worried. So maybe I'm not being so neurotically self-obsessed after all.
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The medical field changed second to second, breakthroughs, magic bullets (Like when penicillin was discovered) perhaps they'll discover the mystery of the spinal system and cures for all the neurological ails out there.

Well written I liked your ending.

Thanks!

I hope that they can come up with something soon, I really do, At the moment all they're willing to offer is OTC painkillers.

love the quote...

there is something kind of affirming when you are backed up - even if it is just that they don't know what is going on either!

I would have preferred it if they had known, and had been able to start some treatment, rather than telling me to take OTC painkillers which I had just explained weren't working at all!

Surprisingly, my blood pressure isn't actually sky-high, which I expected it to be!

the honesty here was strong and refreshing.

There's nothing so frustrating as not knowing what's wrong :/

I've been there. I've only just recently had a diagnosis after years of not knowing...

It's the frustration of not knowing what I can possibly do to try to improve matters. I have a very vague suspicion, which does at least lead to stuff I could eliminate from my diet in the hopes that that'll stop me poisoning myself further.

Glad you got a diagnosis in the end, even if it did take years :-/

Oh dear. I do hope that your doctors can get to the bottom of what's wrong. Take care of yourself.

Thanks! Tomorrow I get to have a whole raft of blood tests, which may or may not reveal anything.

I've (hopefully temporarily) moved back in with friends, rather than living alone, to ensure that I at least get to eat even if I can't walk to the supermarket ...

I'm glad you have friends to help you.

Nice window into your world!

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