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LJ Season 8: Week 7
Rock bottom

It's an oft-quoted (and equally often misquoted) cliché that catastrophe theory says that a butterfly fluttering its wings in South America cna cause an earthquake on the other side of the world. It seems like such a small thing, doesn't it? And yet the difference between having it all and having nothing at all can turn on something just as trivial.

That last little flutter that the gambler up to his eyes in debt is absolutely 100% positively certain will take him back into the black with a significant safety margin, so that the loan sharks will stop calling at his house threatening to destroy all that he holds dear.

That one last alcohol or drug-fuelled binge that causes the addict's poor battered body to say "enough, already" and requires either enforced sobriety or a steady path towards death.

Or maybe just enough belief in love and the milk of human kindness to trust that your spouse isn't already squirrelling away all the assets whilst you're so sick carrying his child that you can't sit upright long enough to read the small print of the paperwork that he's demanding you sign so you can move into the house of your dreams before the baby's born. And then, to add insult to injury, when you've outlived your usefulness he throws you out, locks all the doors, and stops you having access to your own child, whilst claiming you've been sponging off him for the entirety of your time together.

Do I sound bitter? Well, maybe. Everyone who hits rock bottom has their own unique catalogue of misfortunes and tragedies, and not everyone is fortunate enough to come out the other side. I'm hoping I will be one of the fortunate, but only time will tell.

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I hope things get better.

Edited at 2011-12-09 01:04 am (UTC)

(Deleted comment)
I hope you're one of the fortunate, too. I take it that this is non-fiction, and if so, then I'm rooting for you.

Glad I read this, and sad for you if its true.

Have had a rock bottom in our lives, but lived through it, ...hope there is a silver lining for you.

I am sending positive thoughts that you will make it to the other side. In fact, I know you can. Don't ever stop believing it and striving for it and looking for ways to improve. Don't ever give up.

What a terrible situation - and the way you've written it makes me feel that the tragedy of loss of trust is greater than the loss of stuff...

Quite a sad entry. Hope things get better.

You know, there are certain circumstances when it's OK to be bitter, at least for a little while. This is one of them.

I wish with you that you do survive this only to be stronger than before.

I'm sorry, and I hope too that you get to be a fortunate one.

I hope to Ghod this is fiction...

If it is, it's brilliant and well-told.

If it isn't, get in contact with the appropriate social service organizations and HAUL THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH INTO COURT!!!

PS: A very powerful piece. Thanks for sharing this.

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